Hoi An Part III: ohmygoditshot!

We had two weeks to play with in our SE Asia itinerary. Sadly, at the point we had to decide, Myanmar and Thailand had just been rocked by a devastating earthquake and it was unclear whether more would follow. So we decided that we would return (again) to Hoi An – not least because it would be Chloe’s birthday while we were there and who doesn’t want to be somewhere lovely on their birthday? Plus, the Doctor Who finale would be airing, making reliable(ish) internet a non-negotiable.

We’ve been to Hoi An in May/June before but, somehow, we forgot just how much the heat and humidity rocket. Instead of temperatures in the high 20s, it was mid 30s, with humidity that put the ‘feels like’ temperature in the late 40s. There’s a phrase we save only for days like these – ‘ohmygoditshot’. It was put to good use.

The first week was very relaxing; trips into town for a little light tailoring, cycle rides up the riverside. On Chloe’s birthday, the Banana Garden Villa staff showed they’re at the top of their game by bringing out a cake and flowers at breakfast to the strains of ‘happy birthday’. They do this with every guest who is lucky enough to be there on their special day, and it’s enormously sweet.

During the second week, temperatures rose and so did our ambitions. Back in April, we joined a group tour to some local sites, including the Marble Mountain, but the guide was in a hurry and it was too hot for Chloe to get all the way to the top in one go. She paused to let the rest of the party go up and come back down but the tour was scheduled to leave the mountain by a different route, so Allan had to peel off and retrieve her. Returning in June, we still had half a mountain to climb.

So, Marble Mountain take two. Here’s the good bit – we initially walked up from the bottom but there is an elevator that will get you a good third of the way up. Reasoning that we’d already ‘done’ the first bit, we jumped in the lift to take us most of the way to our earlier stopping point.

We still had a good few hundred uneven steps to the highest point and, even in the morning, it felt like 40+ degrees. Chloe busted out her signature strategy for getting through a gruelling climb, which mainly consists of a lot of swearing and wailing ‘I just can’t!’ until she gets to the top. Allan took it in his stride, while offering gentle encouragement. As you can see, he enjoyed the achievement immediately, whereas Chloe was glad she’d done it about four hours later.

Unwilling to lose momentum, we did the stupid tourist thing for the next couple of days – take bikes out in the extreme heat.

On day one, we battled hot headwinds to visit the Locust Cafe in the middle of Hoi An’s rice paddies. Lime juice and strawberry smoothies were our reward. The rice fields were in a different stage of cultivation compared to last time. Then it was all emerald acres, now the rice had been harvested and the bare, brown fields were being prepared for the next sowing.

On day two, we made it as far as the beach so we could see the sea before we left. Allan resisted buying yet another brightly coloured silk shirt, but we still left with a couple of presents for those back home. This time the sun was unrelenting on our return trip and we arrived back hot and soggy. Thank heavens for laundry services, who have been doing an average of 2kg a day of our stuff. We love them.

So, now it’s our last day in Vietnam. We hit the riverside last night and, along with the usual display of brightly decorated cruise boats of different sizes, we were delighted by the return of the karaoke boat. Everyone was having a ball. Sound on.

Hoi An – such a lovely place (such a lovely place)

Travelling for many months is such a wonderful thing.

We had 35 days in Vietnam and the first 14 days were due to be in Hoi An to have right restful time. This objective was well and truly completed. All at the same hotel, Banana Garden Villa.

After a week in the madness of Hue, what to do next. Will it be the sights of Ha Long Bay? The mountains of Dalat? The big cities of Ha Noi or Saigon? The mighty Mekong river delta? Err, no, we go back to Hoi An. To the same hotel. But in a deluxe room instead of a superior. For another 13 nights.

Hoi An is a superb place. It’s big enough to have things to see, a beach nearby and, a big draw, 300 odd tailors. We see a few things, including cycling to the beach, a huge lady Buddha, the Terracotta park with memories of home thanks to its global model village, old trading houses. We also get a shed load of souvenirs and presents. But, it still seems to have retained a lot of small town charm.

We hit the tailors. Allan asks the tailor to copy his most favourite trousers, a pair of pretty expensive Ralph Lauren ones that he has with him that are slightly falling apart. They do an exact copy in linen. I mean exact – apart from the falling apart bit. They are so good, five more pairs in various colours and fabrics were ordered at a way cheaper price that Ralph Lauren. Chloe gets tops, trousers, skirt and a jacket made in various colours including green, white, black and blue. All fit perfectly.

We buy enough clothes and presents to post two boxes back to the UK, including the coats and jumpers we needed for Japan that we’re definitely not going to need for the rest of the holiday.

Anyhow, back to the wonders of long travels. Staying in the same place allows us to start getting a little insight into the area and the people.

The place across the road from the hotel who keep chickens have a dog. It takes its guard role seriously, letting other passing dogs know to “get away from my chickens” and also tries to round up any chickens who escape from the front. The former is way more successful than the latter.

The local shop owners get to know us. We still don’t get the local price for groceries, but at least we have a chat.

The local restaurants welcome us like long lost family. They know, or at least guess, what drink we’ll have and agree to do off-menu specials. And OMG, that Prawn in peppercorn was utterly lovely, they simply must put it on the menu.

And a special mention to our hotel in Hoi An, the wonderful Banana Garden Villa. It is everything that a smallish (30 odd rooms) hotel should be. The rooms are huge and feel like they are the size of our flat back home. The staff are so friendly and smiles everywhere, but we don’t think it’s all superficial. They work so damn hard to keep the place spotless, cleaning and changing beds every day. They are up at the crack of dawn starting breakfast. They are up late at night checking people in. They advise on tours without any hard sell – quite the difference from almost everywhere else in Hoi An or Vietnam.

So, we say our fond farewells to Vietnam and Hoi An. Or do we?

The answer is no. We’ve now changed plans and are leaving Malaysia two weeks earlier than planned. To come back to Vietnam. To come back to Hoi An. To come back to Banana Garden Villa.

The Banana staff reaction was “you’re coming home”, mishearing this, we thought they said that “you’re now going home” so we said, no, we’re actually going to be coming back to Hoi An! We stand corrected and are told “No, you’re coming home, this is now your home”.

Banana Garden Villa – you can check out any time you like…but you can never leave.

Hoi An arrival: aaaand exhale…

We’re lucky enough to have been to the central Vietnam city of Hoi An twice before. Once when it was slightly chilly and rainy and another when it was 46 degrees and 98% humidity. This time it seems somewhere in the middle, a bit grey but still warm and humid.

Hoi An is one of our good places. On each previous visit, one of us was just recovering from the slightly inevitable food poisoning we succumbed to elsewhere. Hoi An rejuvenated us by being busy, but not quite as hectic as the rest of Vietnam, and with all the home comforts and facilities that a popular foreigner tourist destination has. The hotel we stayed at last time perfectly summed up Hoi An; a calm oasis, great service, but building works happening next door during our stay.

We stay again at the wonderful Banana Garden Villa. It has expanded by almost double since last time – now we know what the building works were! The rooms are spotless, the service wonderfully friendly and efficient, and the breakfast great. The receptionist spots a bag of laundry when we check-in, she whips it off us and get everything cleaned by the next morning – yes, they are that good.

The downsides are occasional loud karaoke nearby and, of course, some building works up the street. Neither of these disturb us, although some of those karaoke singers are REALLY bad and very loud. There is no such thing as an oasis of total calm in Hoi An, no matter what some hotels name themselves, so we’re very happy with our choice. £21 gets you a superior room or £25 gets you a deluxe one and both get you that lovely breakfast.

So what to do for the next two weeks? The answer is very little. We had this pencilled in as proper chill-out time where we fully relax after Japan and Danang. There’s lots of fabulous food places, over 300 tailors to create custom-made clothes, and day trips to various places. And did I say relaxation too?

There’s likely not going to be many posts over the next two weeks. But, some news of note, we tried the wonderful Peanuts restaurant. It’s a vegan place and somewhat to his surprise, Allan liked it. A lot. This is their vegan Banh Mi – a staple that is normally a pork fest – and is utterly delicious.

More foody pictures to come I’m sure. In the meantime, much relaxing coming up interspersed by some terrible loud singing. Very nice.